How to Take Control of Your Happiness

I often receive comments from fans asking how I remain so positive from day to day. The truth is, I have bad days just like everyone else. I get sad and angry, and have to actively recenter myself to a happy state. My faith helps a great deal with this – I know the Lord has a plan for each of us and difficult times are tests of our devotion to him and to ourselves.

How to Take Control of Your Happiness

Staying positive takes work, but it’s also very simple.  It starts with appreciating the little things in life and reminding yourself that everything will be ok. That’s why I love inspirational quotes. They remind me to be my best self, and that our own happiness is in our hands. It’s all about perspective – once your expectations change, your attitude will as well. And, since all of us need a reminder on how to stay positive every once in awhile, I’ve pulled together a list of a few things I tell myself whenever I feeling defeated. Take these to heart next time you struggle through a bad day.

  1. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others: This may be easier said than done, but one of the biggest culprits for losing positivity is trying to compare your life to those around you. Everyone comes from different walks of life. While their’s may look desirable, you rarely know what really goes on behind-the-scenes. Life isn’t about the haves and have-nots. It’s about making the most of what we have and knowing that true happiness comes from love and acceptance. Once you focus on what fuels you, and don’t try to be like someone else or judge their lifestyle, you’ll be one step closer to bliss.
  2. Banish the Haters: You’ll undoubtably encounter people that bring a negative energy to your life, but you don’t always need those people around. Sure, there are unavoidable coworkers, but for the most part you can decide who you regularly interact with. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, make you laugh and accept you for who you are. It’s hard to stay positive when you are exposed to toxic relationships – Don’t let others tear you down.
  3. Be Grateful for What You Have: There is always something to be thankful for, no matter how small. So celebrate the little things in your life that make you feel good. Maybe it’s a compliment, a crush, your kids…any little win that brings a smile to your face. For me, it’s my family. I could have nothing else in the world, but the joy I get from them makes my happiness overflow regularly. If it helps, write down what you’re grateful for, and look back on your list every time you have a bad day—it’s guaranteed to lift your spirits!
  4. Treat Yourself Right: Being a working momma can cause you to put all things “me” on the backburner. But taking time out for yourself only makes you a better and happier person. It also helps you to be a positive force in the lives around you. You can project your happiness on to others – it truly is contagious. So take time for yourself. If you’re stuck in a rut, think of what is bringing you down, then brainstorm ways to add in more of what you really love doing. You can read more about the benefits of taking time off and how to make it happen in this post. Things like this will get you going, and get you through to the light at the end of the tunnel.

What do you do to remain positive? Share with me below! 



Photo: Wallpaper Stock

  • Janina Wiggins

    Reading your blog helps me stay positive. Thanks!!!

  • Carla Brown

    Reading this post has come right on time. I have been really down the last few weeks. I can’t figure out how to shake it. I will right down all the things I’m grateful for tonight! Thank you so much!

  • Kristine Skittles Johnson

    I love to post happy quotes around my room. And when I start to feel down, I just think of something good that God has placed in my life and smile.

  • C❤

    you are so sweet Tamera! I am SO thankful for your blogs because ive always loved seeing you growing up and now omg you are sharing us life advice! Thank you miss sweet Tamera! Xoxo !!!

  • Deja Renee Dennison

    This is a great strategy to remain positive. Me myself like to walk, I just started my weight loss journey a week ago. I feel really good about my working progress about living a positive, healthier life style. Like you said Tamera true happiness starts with you. Knowing you are capable of each goal you set for yourself, trusting God! surrounding yourself around positive people. It’s hard at times to stay positive when negative people try to bring you down, but God will get you through each and every obstacle in life, if you pray and trust in him. That’s what help me face my challenges. I thank you for posting this great list of things to remain positive, I’m truly inspired.

  • Ik

    I think your environments play the biggest role. If you go from a negative home to a negative workplace or both your family and friends are negative, you’re in trouble. I rather keep to myself so I can block out all the negativity. I live in a small town that breeds negativity so I mostly deal with my out-of-town friends.

  • Ina Turner

    I stay positive by reminding myself every morning that Jesus “My Lord” is the only one that I have to please that day,therefore I can go thru my day being happy,taking care of what I need to do,and if I run into someone during the day that’s unpleasant I remind myself I don’t have to live with them,don’t have to please them. I don’t allowed anyone to have that much power over my life to make me unhappy,and like you, my greatest joy is when I am with my family. There will always be bumps in our lives,but if we keep God first,and don’t allow others to cross boundaries that we have set up,we can have a positive and healthy life style. PS,I am enjoying the Real,continue to do YOU…blessings

  • TT Talk (Fan Crew)

    This is one of my favorite posts by you!

  • christine

    Thank you Tamera..really needed that today

  • TW

    I am now in the habit of speaking life to myself, over my life, and over
    others. What the enemy loves to do is whisper lies about you, in your
    ears or the ears of others about you. If we receive those lies and carry
    them, then they can affect us, whether it is a small lie or a large
    lie, they can help to take us off our ordained path & stay stuck in
    bondage. Speaking life, reminds me of who I am, that I am a child of God
    and if no one else in this world is for me, He will never be against me
    and will always Love me. In other words, celebrate life and celebrate
    who you are no matter where you are in life. This helps me not only
    emotionally to stay joyful, but all the hurt that the enemy/others try
    and place on your shoulders, you can turn it back around on them and
    leave it there, pray for them, and then walk away victorious. Easy, no,
    but with the Holy Spirit’s help, it is already done. What would happen
    if we all spoke life to ourselves & others versus lies/death? It
    would transform the world. #SpeakLifeCampaign

  • Chris

    Your post came at the right time……I often wonder how to make it through the day and stay positive and the funny thing is that everything you wrote I practice but not as strong as I should……thank you for reminding me

  • Vanessa Stewart

    I take praise breaks in the middle of the day. I put in a worship cd and I sing along and worship HIM. This is so uplifting, try it sometime!

  • yapha

    I am on a journey to becoming a more positive person and it actually started with a thankful challenge on Facebook and I realized as I was doing it that there are many positive things going on in my life and in the world. It definitely is the law of attraction. You attract positivity if that is what you are sending out into the universe. Some days it gets tough but I think of how far I have come and that is a positive and good thing

  • Keoyona Ray

    Tamara, each of your points touched on all the things I have learned in nursing school to stay positive and to help patients stay positive, especially during their most vulnerable moments of sadness, and pain. I think I try to stay positive, as you said, through faith (we really have a lot in common). My faith in God is the only thing that really keeps me grounded and bring me a fresh of breath air. I also try to do things such as exercise, and listen to music, but it touches and cures my mental and physical ailments. Thanks for sharing your advice and acknowledging to others that you are HUMAN. I think that a-lot of people often forget that celebrities are just as human as they are. Thanks so much!

  • Christiana Threats

    Thanks so much for that! I really needed it!

  • Mary Jane

    I stay positive by voiding negativity. Everyday I try to tell myself positive things. I also tell my children to try to say positive things. I constantly smile and share my joy with others. The world is a play, embrace it. MJB

  • ellen

    Thank you for those encouraging words it really helps when I loose focus I can read those word and be encourage to keep going..I also remind myself I am a child of the almighty

  • Melonye

    Tamera I would like to take better care of myself. I was diagnosed with a mental disorder. I am a divorced mother of a beautiful 11 year young daughter. I would like her to remember that even though her mom is overcoming some challenges in life she paused and took the time to take better care of herself. I am learning to exercise, I have a vegan diet, my daughter was born vegan and still is. I would so enjoy the natural products you are giving away. I am on disability and I purchase natural products when I can. THanks so much for having this giveaway!

  • Susanne Tapley

    Thank you Tamera for this wonderful list of reminders.* :) <3 I always try to count my blessings and thank God for giving them to me.* <3 :) But when I' m down and out it's really hard to do that until I can, like you say "actively recenter myself to a positive state."* :) My faith and love of God helps me as well.* <3 Our Heavenly Father always understands what we're going through even when noone else does. <3 Sometimes I feel so alone and isolated. :( Those are the times I have to reach outside of myself and do something special and positive for someone else or for a few other people.* :) This gets the focus off myself. :) There's nothing more that Satan wants than to make us feel alone and be absorbed in self-pity. :( He thrives on seeing us suffer. :( But we don't have to let him win. We can fight negative thoughts and feelings and come out of it helping not only ourselves but others as well.* :) <3 You are a beautiful, intuitive, caring, down to earth person Tamera.* :) You are also very wise.* Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.* :) It makes God happy when we strive to help others as well as ourselves.* :) <3

  • Teè Gordon

    I’m so glad I have found this site, I am a twin and I have always admired you and Tia. As a child I always wanted me and my sister to have our own sister sister sitcom! Lol. You both are giving back to the world, in such a special way. It is overwhelming to see you both a high celebrity status caring so much about people and sharing REAL stories. Thank you for what your doing for others I am really grateful. Please carry on

    I stay positive everyday by saying to myself ‘Everything is always working out for me thank you for another day’.

  • Tiara

    Love this! Banish the haters was right on point. Also sometimes we do compare our lives to others and what we think or where we should be in our lives. When we stop doing that and know that we are ourselves and no one else, then that’s when we can really begin to be happy with ourselves.

  • Melissa

    I remain positive everytime I look at my 14 month old daughter Kaylin. I know she deserves a happy mother and happy household. I look at my life and I know how much my family has struggled (my mother, sisters and I) and I see where I am now with my fiance and daughter and I can’t thank God enough for sending me down a different path.

  • Christina Wellmaker

    Tamera, you are such an amazing person I always love watching you on sister sister and following you on all your journeys you always like to stay healthy and take care of your beautiful skin. I am a single mother of a 2yr. Old lil boy after all I had him I had ended up in the e.r. when he was 2 weeks if that I ended up staying in the hospital for 5 days having hart failure I take 5 different medications every day I would love to have a better and healththy life for me also live a long life for my child I want to be about able to know that I have life to live for him . You are an inspiration to me and knowing I can’t give up I gotta keep trying to eat and exercise more healthier and have strength and faith. Thanks Tamara I like reading your blogs your a great wife,mommy, actress and tv host. Xx Christina :-)

  • Jennifer Torres

    I love this! I tend to really overlook the little things and just feel sad for what I do not have or have not achieved. Im going to start to think of the little things I am blessed to have and I know my days will turn around for the best! In order to remain positive I look at a picture of my husband and baby girl I thank God for them and then Im good its like my stregnth gets renewed! Also blasting Jesus Culture or Kari Jobe always helps!!!

  • Rosemary Wangari Njoroge

    thats so powerful tamera & its soo true.

  • kaylah

    Thank you so much Tamera for this I look up to u and I have a hard time staying happy and positive ….. This really helped me a lot so thanks!!!

  • Yovonn Andrews

    I stay positive by being and thinking spirtual about how blessed I am.