Real Talk: Focusing on What’s Important

As any mommy knows, being a parent really puts things in perspective. It’s no longer about you – and as important as taking time for yourself is – you realize just how great your impact and influence is. And you realize that the little things that once seemed huge and daunting are really tiny compared to what truly matters to your happiness and the happiness of your family. Having a baby humbles in that way. Lately, it’s reminded me of something that I think others can relate to, parent or not, of a shift in focus that we could all use every now and then, whether or not we have little ones to care for.

How to Refocus on What's Important | Tamera Mowry

We all get caught up in things that we KNOW aren’t important or vital to our happiness… like petty drama we never meant to be involved in or life’s other little stresses. Honestly, who isn’t guilty of that? It’s okay to get caught up in that way occasionally – it’s only natural, especially given that we’re social creatures with a need for connection. But when we start to dwell on those little, insignificant things rather than what’s important, from the strength of our marriage to keeping the faith to simply making baby smile, that’s when we really need to refocus. I know that I’m not doing myself any favors by letting little frustrations get under my skin, or letting my mind wander where it shouldn’t!

It can be difficult to shift the focus, especially after a hard time, busy month, or a series of setbacks. And if you’ve really been through a lot, it’s hard to know exactly how to turn a negative into a positive. No matter the reason, big or small, when I feel myself going there, here’s what I do: Instead of forcing myself to ignore my emotions, I try to remember the important things instead, and the meaning behind them. I channel that overwhelming joy and love that comes with them. Not only does it stop me from filling with worry, I notice a change in mindset. Slowly but surely, the overwhelm of those little problems melts away. Everything is more clear, my mind is content and at peace. And the road ahead is a lot more joyful!

Sometimes you have to teach your mind to refocus just once, sometimes you have to do it continually throughout the day, just like you would do with an affirmation, but in the end, it’s so worth it.

What do you do when you find yourself focusing on the wrong things? How do you change your mindset?


  • lady j

    Good advice! I totally can agree on the fact when we have concerns,worries,struggles,health conditions,etc . It is the automatic mindset to focus or dwell on them. I am learning as I have become more older,spiritually wiser to live in the moment. I will do what I am able to do to try or resolve the problem. Then I pray and give it to God. Worrying does not add another hour to my life. So.. relax.. Give thanks for today. If you are alive.there is hope.

  • Ina Turner

    Tamera, Not having a lot of time to be on Social Media latterly,Our 3 little kiddos have been keeping hubby and I very busy,I am sure you can relate lol.
    But it seems whenever I check into your blog “It Blesses Me”-and this one sure does.”So much truth”.
    I need to remind myself often like you stated”It’s no longer just about me”.
    Sometimes we continue to live our lives doing what we want,not willing to make that shift in our focus to insure our family happiness,and in turn our own.
    Refocusing often on what’s important, which is keeping my marriage and faith strong,and raising our kiddos to be morally grounded and to be great human beings to make positive changes in this world. If my Family is healthy and at peace!!!!, I am at peace not matter what’s going on with anyone else.
    Thanks again for the reminder “REFOCUS”.
    Blessings to you and your family. Matthew 6:33.

  • Cindy ugoji

    What I do is to check myself. Know all things that I should be doing is for the Lord. How I work, what’s important, an if it pleases God. When I find myself in the most unpleasant situation I have to remind myself If what I’m doing helps or hurts a negative or positive,builds or takes away ultimately I let all the negative out an turn around to be positive. Knowing your purpose an doing whatever it takes, praise, prayer an self meditation, self motivation an believing in God. ;)

  • jessica

    I think of my precious little ones laughter and smiles. I Listen to some good gospel music, and remind myself how good God is and how much He loves and cares for me. I remind myself that God and family is more important than anything.

  • Siza

    Great topic Tamera Women we are soo gorgeous we carry babies for 9 months enduring all the challenges of pregnancy.We strive to love our husbands and uplift them while taking absolute care of our kids.We are such good lovers givers and carers.I found out im unique no one can love like me kiss like me or give a hug like me when every love seems not enough including my husbands i simply realise thats why im needed special and unique.I guess i have no need to fight get sad or quarrel i simply say Lord keep me strong to stay me in coldest situations every one else is just being themselves i need their strenghts help me to deal with their weaknesses.

  • Kay

    To change my mindset (and negative energy), I often write down a list of priorities to focus on when I feel myself getting frustrated. I also listen to Joel Osteen and Les Brown, as a boost to my positive thinking for the day.

    Parenting and married life aren’t always easy, I take it 1 day at a time, and just make time to sit back and breathe (even if it’s in the car while I wait for soccer practice to end).

  • Samuel Harris Jr.

    as for now the enjoyment is found din “Real Talk” & “Inspirational”

  • Phylicia Nicole Jones

    I try to meditate, pray, and shift my mind onto the most priorities for the day, like studying, my job tasks , building my business and definitely logging out of social media.